


Don't Say It, Please

by MadeIyn



Series: Oneshots [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Inspired by Sanders Sides, Nightmares, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-29 03:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15063845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadeIyn/pseuds/MadeIyn
Summary: Virgil accidentally lashes out during an anxiety attack, causing Thomas to hit Joan. How do the sides handle the situation?





	Don't Say It, Please

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have an angsty ending for this brewing in the back of my head, but she hasn't been written yet. I will try to get it out to y'all as soon as possible. Enjoy this fluffy version!... for now : )

“Virgil, Roman is right. You’re not necessary, and quite frankly, you’re out of control.” Virgil struggled to hear Logan over the roar of blood rushing to his ears. Nevertheless, he clutched onto every word as it was spoken. Logan’s lips were moving, downturned in disappointment, but Virgil could no longer hear him. “You’re not necessary” was rattling around in his head, pinging off the walls of his skull. 

“It only makes sense that you leave. You’ve hurt Thomas, you made him HIT our friend. What did Joan do to deserve that? They were only trying to help!” Roman bristled, glaring at Virgil from next to Logan. Virgil sighed and wiped at his tears in frustration. He spared a glance towards Patton, who had been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the whole ordeal. Virgil immediately wished he had never looked. Patton looked at Virgil with heavy disappointment laced in his gaze. Virgil’s gaze quickly dropped to the floor as a new wave of hurt and anxiety rushed through him. 

Patton caught the glance, however, and finally chose that time to speak up. Virgil’s only thought was, “No, not you Patton- please, don’t say it.”

“Verge, kiddo, you know you can’t be trusted anymore..” He trails off. Virgil’s heart clenched as the words left Patton’s mouth. Virgil sucked in a deep breath, willing the tears in his eyes to stay where they were. Patton was asking him to go. Patton, who defended Virgil even when he didn’t really deserve defending, wanted Virgil to leave now. 

It was decided then. Virgil had to leave his only friends, he had to go back to the dark side. He would be stripped of his name and reduced to Anxiety again. He would never get to listen to Patton and Roman bellow duets through the house as the night wore down to an end. He wouldn’t be able to go to Logan’s room when everything just became Too Much. Patton would no longer be around to smooth his hair and hum songs to him as he calmed down from a panic attack. Roman wouldn’t come to his room at near midnight raving about his most recent quest, knowing Virgil would be the only one still awake. Logan wouldn’t come in with a new study on anxiety to discuss how Virgil related and felt about the article. There would be no more movie nights, cuddle piles, or family cookie baking. 

Virgil would be alone again.

Virgil took a deep, unsteady breath and swiped his sleeves at the wetness under his eyes. He gave a shaky smile and looked up at his family one last time. Roman glared down at him, and Logan looked as impartial as ever. Virgil turned his eyes to Patton and although it hurt, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Patton was looking at him with an air of finality. No remorse or sympathy, just pure decidedness. Virgil rose from the seat on wobbly legs and began to walk to his room, to gather his things. He couldn’t contain the whimpers pouring from his lips, nor the tears spilling from his eyes. Nobody called out to him for comfort or support. He opened his door and it creaked loudly, just as it always did. He looked around his room, which was filled with disney posters and polaroids with his friends. That was all it took for the real sobbing to begin. 

Suddenly, there were firm hands on his shoulders. They shook him lightly, and a voice murmured his name. It sounded as if he were being spoken to underwater.

“Virgil, come on.” The voice said, sounding louder and more defined. Virgil clenched his eyes shut, rubbing them hard as he tried to turn around and see who was holding him. When he reopened his eyes, he was looking behind him, but nobody was there. Virgil’s heart shot up to his throat as fear raced through his veins. Nobody had ever gone back to the dark side before, as far as he was aware. Did they come to get you? What was happening? He wasn’t ready, he still needed to say goodbye! He couldn’t contain himself, he started shouting at the top of his lungs. He began begging, pleading for just a bit more time there.

“Virgil, please, wake up. You’re scaring me.” 

Virgil rolled over, drenched in sweat and more anxious than he had been in months. His breathing was erratic and his vision was blurred from all of the tears. A soothing hand rested on his shoulder gently, but it didn’t matter whose it was. He grabbed the blurry form in front of him and pulled them down into a tight hug. The hand on his shoulder moved to the back of his head, stroking his sweat-soaked hair. The person’s other arm wound around his waist in a gentle hug which Virgil could easily break if he needed to. Virgil placed his forehead in the crook of the person’s neck as he took deep, gasping breaths and tried to get his bearings. The person continued to murmur kindly into his ear, soothing him through the tail end of his panic attack.

Virgil continued to follow the calmer breathing of the person soothing him. Finally, when he felt calm enough, he lifted his eyes to meet concerned brown ones. Patton’s brow was furrowed and a frown was deeply set across his lips. He continued stroking Virgil’s hair as they maintained their eye contact.

“What happened, kiddo?” Patton murmured, his eyes searching Virgil’s face for any indication of remaining anxiety. Virgil finally looked around his room to see Logan standing in the corner holding Roman’s hand, offering what comfort he could to the more emotional side. Roman was watching Virgil carefully, sizing him up. Roman’s concern was etched into his face similarly to Patton’s. Logan looked less nervous, more observational. If Virgil didn’t know any better, he would assume Logan was trying to study his reaction in a scientific manner. However, Virgil understood that Logan was trying to read him in a way that he could process.

“I uhm- I had a nightmare.” Virgil finally let the words roll off his tongue, though they still sounded clumsy through the sleepy fog which clouded his mind. Patton’s eyes crinkled as he finally let a soft smile spread across his face. He took Virgil’s hand and guided them to sit up so that they were both leaning back against Virgil’s headboard. Patton didn’t drop Virgil’s hand, instead choosing to hold it in his and gently stroke the back with his thumb as he spoke.

“Verge, that was self explanatory. We were just concerned because usually you don’t scream from a nightmare. Or at all, generally, unless something terrible is happening.” Patton moved his hand to brush away the sweaty hair that clung to Virgil’s forehead. He straightened Virgil’s pyjama top as he waited for a response. Virgil sighed and closed his eyes tightly before slowly forming his answer.

“I dreamt that Thomas was having a panic attack and Joan tried to help him by touching him. I was feeling particularly touch sensitive when he did that, and it freaked me out so badly that I accidently lashed out and made Thomas hit Joan. You guys decided that I was out of control and sent me back to-” Virgil was cut off by Patton wrapping his arms tightly around Virgil’s shoulders and pulling him into a hug. He was startled, but quickly melted into Patton’s embrace. Virgil gently raised a hand to clutch at the back of Patton’s sleep shirt. Suddenly, a second weight dipped the bed next to them and another set of arms wrapped around Virgil’s middle. Virgil glanced down to see Roman’s arms wrapped around his waist, distinguishable by the red sleeves of his nightshirt.

“Never.” Patton whispered fiercely against Virgil’s neck, leaving no room for doubt. Logan dropped a hand atop Virgil’s head. His fingers carded through Virgil’s hair, gently soothing him without speaking. Virgil’s heart swelled in his chest, blocking his throat so he couldn’t voice his appreciation. He pulled away from the hug slowly, looking at his friends and not seeing a dry eye in the room. Even ever-sober Logan was looking a bit weepy at the thought of Virgil’s self doubt. Roman’s hand remained on Virgil’s back, rubbing it softly in a comforting manner. Logan took Virgil’s hand gently into his own, staring with his red-rimmed eyes.

“Virgil, you are vital to this group, both in regards to Thomas’s health and the bonds we have formed here. Even if that situation were to unfold, our reaction would not be to remove you from the group. We would try to find a solution together which maintained your position as you are.” Logan held eye contact the entire time he spoke, voice serious and unwavering. He squeezed Virgil’s hand at the end of his monologue before letting go. Virgil’s hand dropped into his lap as a new bout of tears welled up in his eyes, this time tears of joy.

“ You make all of us very happy, and we could not function at the same level without you as part of our family.” Virgil looked at the three other sides around him, swiping his tears away with his thumbs.

“Thank you, you guys.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Be sure to leave a comment if you have any thoughts, prompts, or further advice to help me as a writer!


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